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Happy-Teenages!Out with Self
Esteem - In with Self Acceptance! |
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Testimonials
Young PeopleYour book helped me heaps with unwanted feelings. It was a relief to realise that thoughts like 'I am a failure' and 'I am not important' are false, illogical and not a reality. You see things more clearly. Now I know how to handle it when I'm jealous. Although I've just turned 17, I have had severe anxiety and depression for over 3 years. I've found your suggestions very helpful. Thank you for a clearly written, helpful book. In my 25 years in youth work I have looked for a simple and articulate tool to use with kids to handle their feelings and self-image in a sensible and understandable manner. Happiness - It's Up To You by Sabine Beecher is that tool. It is intelligent and thought provoking, but more important than that for youth, it is PRACTICAL and SIMPLE. It is easy to test the theories, to rehearse the exercises. In some cases I have found what seems like 'instant' or even 'magical' results to assist young people to create a beginning for growth for the young people with whom I have been involved. To assist young people come to terms with being responsible, I cannot recommend this book too highly. My daughter was going through her teenage years with trials and tribulations. She was at a very low ebb. She read Happiness - It's Up To You and thought it was the best book she had ever read in her life - absolutely fantastic. My son also got a lot out of it. Today they still think it's the best book. The beauty of it is, it covers all ages. And it's so easy to read. It's just a fabulous book! Business PeopleBeing an owner of a medium size business I constantly seek experiences and mentors that can help the balance between personal and business life. Over the years I have employed a number of consultants or 'experts' to help with my business and self development. I recently came upon a book by Sabine Beecher called 'Happiness it's up to you'. The content of the book is very much a hands on book about people and personalities. From page one I knew I had invested in what a lot of us pay thousands of dollars for - common sense and knowledge. Two key elements in running a successful business! I found the content fascinating and easy to understand and have since bought a number of copies that I am passing on to my senior staff. I thoroughly recommend to anyone, whatever your situation in life, to read and learn from Sabine's wonderful book. Violence, verbal BullyingAll my life I have had many problems in relationships with other people, and I have previously only known how to react with violence. I have previously read many self help books trying to find an answer to my problems. Many of the books I have read have been helpful in explaining why and wherefore, but have never been able to cure me. Your book has given to me the chance to make a new life for myself, and the simple principles laid out in your book - so easy to take hold of - have proved to be a 'CURE-ALL' for me. My counsellor showed me your book and I'm getting my own copy. Now I will never allow my husband to be violent again. A child at school kept reacting violently to constant teasing. I used the Self Acceptance Skills Method to explain: If you accept yourself and don't call yourself names, the teasing can't hurt you. Now the child reports happily, the kids called me a name but I'm not worried about it. I know they're doing it to make themselves feel better. Solve DepressionI have struggled with depression for years and have never felt so enthusiastic or motivated to solve the problems of my life before. What is in the book has hit home to me. It's everything I do. I have a lot of expectations and a lot of self labels. It comes back to self worth. I don't accept people for who they are because I don't accept myself. I have lost Me as a person. I tried the Six Step Method on an event that happened, and it made me feel better. You books has given me the hope that I so long needed in beating this illness. I am now able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. As a funeral director, I know that a lot of the people who suicide were young people who were depressed. They feel worthless. When you continually call yourself worthless, it's overwhelming pain. You can't escape from your own voice and the same pattern of thinking. It's unbearable. The missing link to get out of that rut is to learn a new way to think - to get to the point of self acceptance, to stop calling yourself names and to undo painful feelings with the six step method. If these people could have been in the know about the techniques that you teach, this thinking would not lead to depression and depression would not lead to suicide. Your book has helped me understand my self in so many ways. The last 12 months of my life has been the most depressing and confusing time ever in my life. I have read other self help books but none outlined things as clearly as yours has. Your book has given me the inspiration and motivation to help me make my life worth living. Alcohol & Other DrugsWorrying about what other people think and about not being perfect is all part of why people self-medicate as a way of coping. They say, that was so good, I got so much out of the information. It's amazing what effect that has. I attended your course at (country town). I have found your six step method really effective at helping people grow when they move from chasing self esteem to finding self acceptance. The numerous clients I have used it with have really appreciated how it helps them to identify their self labelling. So many thanks, Confident ParentingI have just started reading your book Happiness - It's Up to You for the second time. I have found it to be a great help to me - understanding myself, accepting me 'as a whole' and viewing other people as their own 'identities'. Indeed, over this last month or so I have been able to deal with a lot of 'inside hassles' I was previously only vaguely aware of. My nine year old daughter is also using your guidelines to help her understand and rationalise a lot of worrying thoughts. Each night we sit together and go through our exercises. Not only has it helped us as individuals, but has also enabled us to understand and appreciate each other not as mother and daughter, but as 'person to person'. Our relationship has broadened in a most wonderful way! I have learned to handle certain relationships in a better manner and am still learning. NOW I can handle my son better - I take things a bit easier and I can smile again. I gave my first copy away to my step-daughter who was having a difficult time with the relationship with her boyfriend. I read Sabine's book as I thought it could help me parent my teenage and pre teenage daughters more effectively. I am keen to have open communication channels with my kid and also maintain effective and appropriate supervision of their growth towards adulthood. Helping them be themselves is the best gift I can give them - with the help of Sabine's book I am able to say the right thing at the right time and I believe that this helps us communicate effectively. Teaching ChildrenI have only just started to use your methods but already I have managed to feel better about a number of incidents which were bothering me. My husband and I have started to use your recommended language on our children. My 6-year old now corrects me and says I'm not naughty. I just did a naughty thing when I smacked my brother'. After I explained to my 3 ¾ year old son about not using labels, he told his grandmother not to use labels when she told him he was a bad boy. Asked to explain to her what labels are, he said, I'm not a good boy, I'm not a bad boy, just I do something good. My behaviour is good. Another time he asked me if I still love him when he is naughty, so I explained that I always love him, but I don't like it when he does a naughty thing. Later that day he carefully explained to me that he loves me, but does not like it when I do a bad thing. One of the main parts of the book was the section on praising your children. I've heard many parents saying good boy or good girl to their children, but this doesn't really tell them what specifically is good about what they have done that was good. Sabine recommends that you use 'doing' and 'action' words for praise. That really works. I've also taught Jack (age 3) to encourage himself and he is happy to give most things a go that previously he didn't think he could do. I can see his self confidence growing by the day. I can't recommend Sabine Beecher's book enough. Couple RelationshipAnother great section in the book which has helped with our relationship is using the 'S-hook of listening'. It is a way of confirming to your partner that you have acknowledged what they have said before going on to express your opinion. I have found that many of our heated discussions have been created by the fact that we do not feel the other person is listening to our point of view. By acknowledging this it takes the heat out of an argument and a more mutual compromise is easily reached. My husband and I are going away for the weekend and taking Happiness - It's Up To You with us to work on our couple relationship. The simple and effective skills for healthy couple relationships are an easy tool for Marriage Celebrants to recommend to prospective couples. The tools consist of
What is in the book is just plain pure common-sense - amazing. It hit me between the eyes. Thanks for changing my thinking. I feel much more relaxed and I'm changing things at home. I wish I'd read it a long time ago .. it should be compulsory reading in schools. SeparationI have recently gone through the trauma of a broken relationship and your book has helped me immensely through many lonely nights and anguish filled days. With its help I am coming to grips with it, with expectations of a bright future. My husband left me for another woman. I can see now why things are as they are - just through reading your book. EducatorsThis book is a good example of an easy-to-read self-help book and creates an immediate interest and appeal. It sets out to demonstrate ways in which a person may go about taking charge of negative thoughts and actions, converting these into positive approaches which in turn will lead to better self image and more satisfaction with life. The book is effective in that it is well laid out and makes good use of illustrations. Happiness - it's up to you promotes a common sense approach to dealing with problems, an approach that recognises the significant part that is played by individuals in any problem-solving process; individuals have far more control over problems than they may at first realise. I certainly recommend that teachers, both primary and secondary, add it to their list of essential reading. This clearly written book teaches skills such as turning discouraging self talk into encouragement. The six step technique to manage strong feelings is explained in many different ways, and supported by exercises and charts so that the reader is able to apply it to a variety of situations. Happiness: It's Up To You teaches a route to belief in oneself. Unconditional self-acceptance allows you to become secure and confident and relate to others as equals. Children with a learning disability face failure every day. Their self esteem is low. They are at risk for depression and anxiety disorders, and sometimes suicide. For children and adults with a learning disability this book would indeed be liberating. Usefulness of Happiness - It's Up To You: Health ProfessionalsI have found Sabine Beecher's method as detailed in her book very useful in treating patients with self esteem problems, anxiety disorders and depression. Happiness .. It's Up To You offers a useful resource when working with patients to build self esteem and healthy communication skills. A particular strength is its many practical tips and strategies. I found your method and particularly with the backup of the book a very useful exercise for a number of clients. It gives them a concrete strategy. The skills have really raised my personal awareness and contributed to my own self care and personal growth. In addition to this I have used the information and strategies extensively in my social work practice. This includes face to face work and a program for groups written after your workshop, called 'Journeying to Self Acceptance' which was staggering in its impact. A client said, 'showing me the difference between self esteem and self acceptance has made all the difference for me. Self acceptance has changed everything and I look at everything differently now. I refuse to accept labels and that has also made a huge difference'. The people I deal with are at times illiterate, unemployed, with poor social skills, and no-one to help them 'build-up' their self esteem. To say that I found it difficult is an understatement. Late last year I found your book and was extremely pleased with its accessibility in terms of being an easily understood, well set out, practical approach to both self-help and professional counselling/classwork/group work. Clients who have sustained long term injuries and those living
with long term chronic conditions often experience common issues. These
include grief, anger, denial, devaluation of self, self labelling, self
judgment, depression, lack of direction and anxiety which often accompany
physical disability. A key casework task is to help the client deal with
these problems. Sabine Beecher's book helps people navigate their way
through the complex maze of psychological problems they face. Its easy
to follow, step by step approach has been widely endorsed by both caseworkers
and clients. I have used Happiness - it's up to you for almost 2 years
in my casework practice. Sabine's Six Step approach has assisted many
of my clients to achieve stability and control in their lives. The book
helps people come to terms with self acceptance, assertion and effective
communication. The book is extremely effective as either a self help guide
or as a tool to assist the therapeutic caseworker. I strongly commend
Sabine's book to you. | |